A in Quran Memorization, F in Manners and Common Courtesy
You walk into a park. Fellow Muslim parents are there—so far, so good. Alhamdulillah for your community; it’s always nice to see other Muslims around. Then, your kids start sharing the play structure, and you notice the other kids don’t take turns, don’t show respectful behavior. It almost looks like they were caged up at home and finally got to the park.
Well, all young kids look forward to park playtime (for young ones at least), but how we release that built-up energy can take many forms…
He Knows 5 Surahs of the Quran
You strike up a conversation with your fellow warrior parent—after all, people who have kids in this day and age are somehow warriors. Whether they see it or not…
And they tell you, “Ohh, you know my children already know 5 surahs of the Quran now, mashallah! By the end of the year, they should know a whole hizb.”
Then the child comes running, pushes away all the kids who are in line for the slide so that he can do it first and not wait for his turn. Turns around, guzzles up the whole juice box to refuel, and goes back blazing. No hi, no thank you, no manners whatsoever.
BUT, let’s not forget—he knows his surahs…
Mismanaged Priorities
Quran memorization in itself is obviously good. We went through it as kids, and thankfully, since once we grow, we usually get less time and memory bandwidth to learn new surahs.
But it seems like basic manners to be a human being should be on top of your priority list, way before you spend time with your kid learning the Quran.
The reason for that, it seems to me, is that we’ve gotten used to the model of:
- Make money working 9-5.
- Spend money to solve problems.
- Go home, eat, sleep, and repeat the next day.
But some problems require YOU, the parent, spending time with your kid to educate them. You cannot outsource everything. And in most cases, spending money for a Quran class and dropping off your kids there is a lot easier than actually spending time with them.
Gymnastics in Diapers
Many parents do this with late potty training too—where the kid still craps his pants but goes to gymnastics class. Again, it’s easier to pay for a class and see your kid play than it is to potty train them and wipe after misplaced stool debris…
BUT, it has to be done. Some things just have to be done, regardless of the cost in energy and time.
The Cherry on Top
I know your kid will grow and become well-mannered by himself eventually, but if we can, let’s raise kids with akhlaq from a young age. If akhlaq are missing, then Quran memorization is really the cherry on top of the cake, and we’re missing all the layers below.
In our humble way of making an effort in our community, all of our books include moral values meant to inculcate akhlaq. Whether it’s through learning how to share sadaqah with people who don’t look like us (birds vs. animals in Nora’s Snowy Sadaqah), or through Rafiq the bear, who shares his berries with his younger siblings in Rafiq Learns Perseverance, every single book has subtle, embedded moral values that build akhlaq.
It may not make a difference the first time children read the book, but if many books embed it, and they read them enough times, the planted seeds of goodness will eventually grow in their minds.
As always, you can find our books in our catalog at https://www.mayous.org/book-catalog
Yours truly,
The Mayous Parent