Why what’s missing matters just as much as what’s there.
We talk a lot about what children see — the characters they watch, the books they read, the heroes they grow up admiring. But we talk less about what they don’t see. And that absence can leave just as deep a mark. Especially when it comes to race, identity… and something as personal as hair.
We Don’t Just See What’s There
Our brains are powerful. They don’t just notice what’s shown — they also sense what’s missing.
And for many of us growing up in the 90s and before, something important was missing.
Who Got to Be Seen?
Back then, TV shows and movies mostly featured white characters.
If a Latina actress appeared, it was often as the housemaid. If a Black character made it on screen, they were rarely the lead.
We didn’t question it much. It just became our “normal.”
But underneath that silence, a quiet kind of discrimination took hold — one that didn’t shout, but whispered: your looks aren’t adequate, you need to change, and look like us.
The Power of Being Left Out
Over time, people started speaking up — and they were right.
Lack of representation is more damaging than bad representation.
Because when you’re not even included, it sends a stronger message than a stereotype ever could.
The Hair We Hide
Curly hair is a perfect example.
For years, it wasn’t just overlooked — it was considered “unprofessional.”
Job interviews, school photos, even everyday settings… the message was clear: straighten your hair if you want to be taken seriously.
And many women did. Some still do.
If that’s their choice, that’s fine. But it should be a choice — not an unspoken rule shaped by bias.
What Kids Still Hear Today
Even today, curly-haired girls hear,
“Why didn’t you brush your hair?”
But here’s what many don’t know:
You can’t brush curly hair like straight hair. It puffs. It frizzes. It tangles.
Curly hair follows a different routine — and different doesn’t mean messy.
It’s just not what shows and stories have taught people to expect.
Why Stories Like Zaina’s Matter
This is exactly why we’re working on the storybook Zaina’s Curly Cotton Candy Hair.
Because when kids see only one version of beauty — smooth, straight, flat — they start to wonder if something’s wrong with them.
But there’s nothing wrong.
Curly hair is beautiful.
Black and Arab kids are beautiful.
And their stories belong at the center — not just in the background.
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